jokes

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes..!!Submitted by Giridhar on 12th August 2007
In our life time 6 things can come at any time:1.love2.friendship3.money4.death5.illness---6.susu : isliye karke sona .good nightSubmitted By vijay kulkarni on 3rd August 2007
(Language: Hindi)Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai? SARDAR: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
(Language: Hindi)AASMAN ME TUM HO,ZAMIN PE TUM HO,HAWA ME TUM HO,JAHA BHI DEKHO TUM HI TUM HO.DOMEX WALI AUNTY SAHI KEHTI HAI"KITAANU" HAR JAGAH HOTE HAI.....Submitted By Narinder Singh
Man:Dr Mujhe normal potti nahi aati,Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khayi to roti,normal k liye kya karu,Dr:PoTTI KHA!!!!
Last nite i had a dream abt U...I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day...Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not... I asked GOD:Why it is so???GOD replied:"BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!
Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.Girl: Aur us dress ka?Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver...The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG....
A story with moralMy girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust." Moral:Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badalte
A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,People who do less work.make less mistakes,People who do no work.make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes.get promoted.
U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!
A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"Mom: " Do you mean its little" girl: " No Mom! Its salty."
aik din aik larke na apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon
wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge husband - magar yahan to nahin haiwife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!!
Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
The world thineest book has only one word written in it"EVERYTHING" and the bok is tittled by "WHAT WOMAN WANT "
GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar haiGIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI....
eik aadmi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi say yeh sisak sisak k marna theak hai ya eik dum.(BIWI)eik dum.(AaDMI)to apni dusri tang b mujh per rakh do.
The short man was chased by 2 policeman coz he usually steal "FRENCH POLONY", he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker the went to him and say"he is so cute, if we come back we will bring sweets,cakes and cold drink" he said with an adult voice "Dont forget to bring my favourite frnch polony"
Years ago i came in2 dis world naked & screamingMy goodness, now things have changed when im naked somebody else does the screaming.
Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,and kills by his bills.LOVE : Loss Of Valuable EnergyWIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
Common Dialoug om exams & 1st wedding night-"Kaisa Hua"??"Acha Hua, thoda bada tha, thoda chooth gaya, aata tha per thik se hua nahi!!
Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi.Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti.Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.
Russians dugg 100meters and foundcopper cable and saidthat they hadtelephones 500 years agoAmericans dugg 200meters and foundoptical fibre and saidthey had internetfacility 1000 years ago.indians dugg 1000meters and didnt findanything and said thatwe had wirelesstechnology 2000 years ago
Aap main Aur Malaika sherawat main kiya fark hey?color? no. Pesa? no. daish? no. phir kiya hey. janab woh utne kapre ka kastoom bana leti he jitna aap naak saf karne k liye istamal karte ho.
When i Die , bury me deepTen feet down fast as leepPlace my Maths book on my headTell my teacher that i am deadplace my geography book on my chest Tell my teacher how i am at restPlace my physics in my right handTell my teacher nothing i understandplace my english book on my leftTell my teacher i tried my bestAlso tell my teachers not to cryFor they are those who made me die.
Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady neHello kiya,Wife- koun thi wo?Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.
Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.Wife: Kitni mari?Man: 3 male aur 2 female.Wife: Kaise malum?Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishtaafter a month he got a letter"mian sahib" iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.
Ramlal, Bagwan say.Bahgwan mujhy dukh de,dard de,tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.
Secretary to Boss : sir aap mujhay 500 rupey day sakte hein main aapko kal dey doongi?Boss : yeh lo 1000 Rupay, abhi dey do ;)
Subjiwala: madam ye 500 kanote blouse se nikala hai kya?Madam: hann par kaise laga?Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muhabhi bhi khula hua hai!
Husband touched boobs andsung: Piyo glass full doodh,wonderful doodh.Immediately wife touchedhis penis n said: Thanda matlab CHOTA COKE!
a man wanted sex from his wife, and a wife refused and said that she was tired and gave her husband 50bucks and said go buy from prostitutes.he came back and wife asked where did u buy from?the husband said i bought from maNKOSI,the wife said yeses!!maNKOSI is greedy why I give her husband 4 free!!
Wives r Incoming CallsLovers r Outgoing CallsAunties r Tollfree CallsCallgirls r Roaming CallsNeighbour Girls r Missed Calls
Wife asked his husband how many women he had slept with.Husband proudly replies, only you darling, with others I was awake!!
young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent mangod replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married
BOY : May I hold your hand ??GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
Man said to God : Why did you make women so beautiful?God said to man : So that you will love them.Man said to God : But why did you make them so dumb? God said to man : So that they will love you.
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Girls before marriage look like barbi DollAfter mariage beautiful DollAfter 1 year nice DollAfter 2 Years only Doll& After 3 Years panaDoll
Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar? the suspicious wife sneered.No I cant the husband replied. I distinctly remember taking my shirt off.
Life is like a P--nIS. Sometimes up somtms down, smtms hard smtms soft, smtms small smtms big, smtmms in smtms out. So enjoy da PE-iS....OOOps, I mean life.
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?A:About 45 pounds!!
PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lotExample : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.The guy says thanks for the warning!
girls.doctor mai apne jub hi kaprey otarti ho tu mujeh boht uljhan hoti hai kiya aap kw pass is ka elaaj haidoctor.yes mai light off karat ho tum kaprey uttaro. girl.yes doctor mai ne kaprey uttar diye hai per esse kaha rakho.doctor. yaha tabel per jaha mere rakhey hoi hai.
World'sSmallestresignationletter?Respected sir,I luv ur wife.
There are three wonders of a woman01. Give milk without eating grass02. Get wet without water03. Bleed for a week without going to die
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.
Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!
Three Ways of fast Communication1: Television2: Telephone3: Tell-a-women
Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.Viru: nahi Basantiin kuttoke samne chaddi mat utarna.Basanti: Viru dar mat mainechaddi pahni hi nahi hai...
Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? hosband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:!
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye
Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here.Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop.Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.
What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him? tu karate me marathe.
Bachey k khatney k waqt nai ko mashwarey diye janey lagey.Chachi Boli: Is k chacha jaisa Nokdar banana.Mami Boli: Is k mama jaisi Gol Topi ho. Nai Dhoti Utha Kar Bola: Aap ki marzi hai ji warna Fashion to yeh chal raha hai.
U r walkin in road. Grls r lookin at u & u r smiling smartly 2 them. U don't care any1. but OPPS u just 4got 2 close ur PANTS CHAIN again & have no underware!
Boys;Larkian pepsi ki tarah hoti hain,Jitna pio utna ziada maza aata hay,Girls;larkay juice ki tarah hotay hain,Jab maza anay lagta hay to khataam ho jtay hain.
Boy say 2girl "agar may tumhary brest daba kar bag jao to tum kya socho gee?"girl"to may socho gee ke aik pagal go poore car chala sakta tha sirf horan daba kar bag geya " hahahahah
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...
Posted by suman at 10:48 PM 0 comments Links to this post


Good morning SMS
May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning my love
I try to Beeee the best friend i can beeeee, so here u go, some Goodmorning flowers right to you from meeeeeee.
Knock!!!Knock!!! May I come into ur world???i bring no flowers,No cakes,But wishes to keep U fresh,Prayer to keep u healthy,And love to keep u smiling...Good Morning....
I just love when morning gets here, cuz i can send a Great Big Good Morning sms to my bestest friend.what a lovely way to start my day
Night has ended for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a gd morning to start your day!
Hello, wakup, Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!
Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you! Good Morning my freind
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you. Gd morning
Your soul came back from dreamland re-united with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realize its a brand new day. Good Morning.
The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd morning...
The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..
It makes me so happy, this is what i m gonna do, Send a good morning sms right back to youuu, Good Morning my Friend, HAVE A BEARY GOOD MORNING.
5 steps to a LOVELY MORNINGClose ur eyes, Take a deep breath, Open ur arms wide,Feel ur heartbeat, & Say " Its too early. Let me sleep again."
No Shadows 2 Depress U, Only Joys 2 Surround U,Many FrieNds 2 LoveU,God Himself 2 BlessU,These r my Wishes 4U,2day 2morow & Everyday 2 u !! Good morning
Early this morning God gave me 3 baskets of fruits -LOVE + HAPPINESS + PEACE OF MIND and told me 2 share them with PPL Dear 2 me. I'm sharing all with U... Good Morning!
See outside the Window,Sun rising for U, Flowers smiling for U,Birds Singing for U, B'coz last nightI told them to wish U G@@D Morning.
Wishing u................G Morning O Afternoon O Evening D Nighthey, 4 in 1 SMS pack -I save the money.....................
Between a 100000 yesterdays& a 100000 tomorrows,There is only ione today and I would not let this pass without saying thx 4 being such a lovely frnd... Good Morng..............
With petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.I wish u a very special Good Morning....
Dr's prescription for today.A cute little smile for breakfast.More laugh for Lunch,Lots of happiness for Dinner,Dr's fee... whole Day think of me....G@@D Morning...
New day new blessing.Don't let yesterday's failures ruin the beauty of today,b'coz each day has its own promise of love,joy,forgiveness..... Good Morning...
Wakeup & Wink those Teeny Weeny Eyes.Stretch those Inzy Winzy Bones,Wear that Jolly Winning smile & tell urself today is a beautiful day... G@@d M(:)rning....
All mornings are like Paintings:-U need a little inspiration to get going,a little smile to brighten up & SMS from someone who cares to color ur day...G@@D M@RNING.....Hav a Nice Day..
As the sky breaks into a beautiful Sunrise ...may GOD open the window of heaven to shower U lots of blessings...Good Morning...
Todays Thought: Try hard to get what u like (or) you will be forced to like what u get… Keep smiling always it increases ur face value… Good Morning and Have a terrific day…
These are just 16 letters yet they mean so much when warmly sent just to keep in touch.(>*<)T*A*K*E*(<<**>>) ;;''C*A*R*E*@$##(>>^^^<<)##$@ OF URSELF..$#%%Good Morning....
5 Steps to every LOVELY MORNING this year. Close ur eyes, Take a deep breath, Open ur arms wide, Feel ur heart beat & say… Here I AM OH LORD, Embrace ME & be my STRENGTH TODAY!!!
Treat everyone with politeness,Even those who are rude to U.....Not because they are not nice,But bcoz u are nice....!!!**Good morning**
Friend nahi to life waste,Salt nahi to food waste,Story nahi to cinema waste,Mera SMS nahi to tera cell waste...!GOOD MORNING!
MUSKAN AAPKE HOTON SE KAHIN JAYE NA,ANSOO APKI PALKON PE KABHI AYE NA,POORA HO AAPKA HAR KHWAB,AUR JO POORA NA HO, VO KHWAB KABHI AAYE NA...!GOOD MORNING!
HAR SAGAR KE DO KINARE HOTE HAIN,KUCH LOG JAAN SE BHI PYARE HOTE HAIYE ZARURI NAHI HAR KOI PASS HO,KYONKI ZINDGI KI HAR SOOBHA ME YAADON KE BHI SAHAARE HOT